The Quarterback
by daydreamer9898
Summary: R.I.P Cory Monteith (1982 - 2013) Will Schuester has kept all his emotion, all his grief locked up in order to look strong for the kids. To be their rock, their foundation, the shoulder they could cry on. But how much longer could he keep it all locked away? (one-shot)


I let out a sigh as I entered my home. I plopped down the sofa, and sat back. Today seemed like the longest day I've ever had, and it seemed to be the most painful. Wait, no. Maybe not. Every day has been excruciatingly painful for these past three weeks. McKinley High seems to be a dark place filled with painful memories. Truth is, they're not all painful. Maybe someday it all gets better, but not today. Or tomorrow. Or next year, or next month, or even next year. But someday it will...

Even waking up in the morning is painful. Every morning, whenever I open my eyes, for a moment, I forget. But only for a moment. I know I will see the kids again, and we'll be sharing ideas, we'll be singing, and it will be a good day. But then it comes back. I won't see one kid today, never see him again. And it sucks so bad because I miss him- _we_ miss him.

I feel my chest start to tighten. I feel myself suffocating and there's a sting in my eyes. The whole day I've been trying to be strong. For the kids. I wanted to be someone they could talk to, someone they could confide in... I wanted to be the shoulder they could lean on, because that used to be Finn's job. But Finn's not here anymore, so I have to stand in his place and I just-

I pull my bag onto my lap, and pulled out that varsity jacket. It was Finn's. He would walk into the room, with that smile that lit up the whole place, and wearing this, he was like Superman. He was a super hero, a real one. One that didn't need to capes or super strength. His greatest power was how he could make anyone smile, help anyone through the hardest parts in life, but right now... he's the hardest part in our lives. Getting over him, moving on, but not quite forgetting him.

I wanted a piece of him, to remember him by. And I stole this jacket, and even when they all blamed Puck, I didn't stick up. Because I'm that selfish. Because I'm that afraid. I'm afraid that one day I would forget him. And I don't want to. I don't want to forget about the boy who made a difference in my life, who was the light in our darkest hours. I didn't want to forget Finn Hudson, our shining star, our quarterback. He was our quarterback. He was _the_ quarterback. And there are no amount of quarterbacks that could replace him, because there is no other Finn Hudson.

The whole morning I had no clue as to what was happening. I kept on saying and hearing that Finn is dead. Finn is dead, Finn is dead... But I didn't realize it until now. Now that I'm all alone and everything's quiet. And it's hitting me, the way it does every single morning. Like a giant wave bringing me down to the bottom of the ocean, stealing all the air in my lungs. And Puck was right- there were very few occasions when Puck is actually right, and that was one of them. No song, no amount of singing would bring him back. I pressed my face against the jacket. It still smelled like him- his faint men's cologne, boy, and sun... and somehow, happiness. It's as if I could smell his smile. It's like this jacket absorbed the light in his eyes and he was here right now, in this piece of cloth.

I sobbed into him. I let everything out, and it was painful. All these weeks, I've kept them all hidden deep down inside me. But I had no idea all these emotions would backfire against me. That one day, they would hit me like a cannon ball to the chest. Finn is dead. He is gone. And we won't be seeing him any time soon. We won't see his smile, his eyes, his awful dance moves...

"Thanks, Mr. Schue," his voice echoed in my head. I cried even harder, my chest constricting so painfully that I felt like I was going to die. And then there was an arm, around me, and for a second- just for a second, I thought it could've been him. His warmth, sheltering me from this dark, cold, Finn-less world... But no, it was Emma. Just Emma. I leaned into her, and I felt like I was falling apart. Shattering in her embrace, and I have no idea how to collect myself afterwards.

"_Thanks, Mr. Schue_," and for some reason, it sounded real. It sounded close. It sounded as though he was right next to me.

* * *

**_R.I.P Cory Monteith (1982 - 2013)_**

**_In this episode, we didn't just lose Finn Hudson. We lost Cory Monteith, as well. I know he died months ago, but it hasn't really sunk in yet. I didn't realize until this episode that Cory was really gone. And there may have been a script and a set, but none of anything we've seen in this episode was acting. The tears, the emotion... it was pure and raw, all coming from the ones Cory has left behind. _**

**_I have cried for legit the whole episode, and more so after that. Cory was dead, and we were never going to see Finn Hudson. I don't personally know him, I've never met him, the closest I've been to him was right in front of the TV screen. So I could only imagine how awful and miserable it must feel like to actually be one of the people closest to him- his parents, his friends, the Glee cast, and Lea... If I feel this awful about his death, their grief is probably a hundred times worse than mine. _**

**_I will miss Cory. In fact, I miss already. But I know he's in a better place now. He won't ever feel sad or lonely, he would never have to turn to drugs or something. Because he's okay now. And I'm happy for him._**


End file.
